Transitions

I've officially been out of college for three months now. That's so crazy to say and even think about. The place I called home for my entire adult life up to this point is no longer my home. When I started this summer, I thought that I would always find myself wanting to go back to Gordon and be a part of it. In a sense, I will always be a part of Gordon and Gordon will always be a part of me. It's more than the school, though. I'm realizing it's the people. As I was back on campus this week to watch the amazing Orientation staff do their thing (they did wonderful!) and welcome all of those new students to campus, I realized something. Gordon is no longer my home - as a student that is. It is forever a part of me, but when I looked around and saw a sea of faces that I didn't know, I didn't feel like I was meant to be living and learning there anymore. Ironic, isn't it, that I was welcomed to Gordon in a sea of unfamiliar faces and I no longer feel at home because of a similar sea. Gordon will always be a comfort zone and familiar to me in some ways, but the ability to separate myself as a student is an important one for this transition into "actual" adulthood. It was the perfect place for me to be for the last four years, but now it's someone else's perfect place to be. I can't thank the people who spoke into my life and who allowed me to speak into theirs enough. You are the people who made my Gordon experience what it was. The buildings and books were just the tools that were used to accomplish one task. The people and opportunities were what truly changed my life for the better. From my professors to my friends - I treasure every moment I spent with you. Your place and time in my life, no matter how small, made me who I am today and I am forever grateful.

Now, Gordon was not all rainbows and butterflies, but I'm thankful for the time I had there. This summer has been an interesting one of finding out who I am without it. Being me was always easy, but there were always some sort of expectation over me. When I was doing Orientation, I was on O-Staff and Core Staff and I knew the expectations that my boss and students expressed over my life. When I led a bread group (yes, I will forever call them bread groups ;)), I had a certain expectation over me in how I acted and lived. These expectations were in no way bad! They just seemed to give me a guideline of how I was supposed to act and live my life. When I left Gordon in May, I've had to figure out who I was and how I should act without these expectations over my life. This entire summer has been me discovering who I am without Gordon and all of the support and guidance it brought with it. To be honest, I'm still discovering and will be for a long time. But maybe that's the point - as we grow in ourselves, we further discover who we are in Christ. The longer I'm out of Gordon, I realize how important He is to everything that I do. This summer I was severely lacking in my quiet time. I guess part of me wanted to see if I could do it by myself. I'm stubborn to the core and while a lot of times that's not a bad thing, it can be my Achilles heel. I tend to deal with my issues on my own before bringing anyone into it. It's rare for anyone to see me in the middle of a crisis because by the time people see me, I've usually figured it out mostly. That's not to say that I don't take people's advice and treasure the times when I can be vulnerable, but I like to figure it out myself first. It's not only without people though, it's without God too. I know that He loves me no matter what shambles my life may (seem to) be in, but for some reason, I still want to try and make it better myself first. It's been no different this summer. I've tried to figure out who I am without the most important part of myself. He's way more than just an accessory. He needs to be at the core of who I am. Finally, my heart knows this as well as my head does. It's only taken a few months...

Going forward from this day, August 28th, the day before my 22nd birthday, I declare that my life will be forever grounded in Christ and His plan for my life. A wonderful friend sent me this sermon to listen to and it only confirmed my own thoughts. In it, Louie Giglio made this statement, "The anchor for the heart is the Cross of Christ." How incredibly true this statement is. My heart has been anchored in the world and my own mind the last few months and that has done me absolutely no good. In the last week, I've felt more peace, love, acceptance, and excitement than the entire summer combined. My heart is anchored in the Cross and the love that was poured out there for me and for the world.

Even though my heart is anchored in Christ does not mean that my life will be easy by any means. My job is still unsure of for the fall which adds so much more anxiety that I originally thought it would. I've had a pretty set job prospect since January and all of the sudden reality (and hiring freezes) hits and changes everything. Everything I thought was a sure thing for this next year isn't. But the cool thing I'm seeing is that I know God is working through all of it and the peace that He's given me through all of it really does pass all understanding. Some of the circumstances that have occurred can't be explained any other way. He is intervening in my life and bringing me along side Him for this wild ride. He's giving me new passions in which to pour myself into - something I didn't expect to experience.

I still miss Africa. I miss Bulembu and the amazing people on a daily basis. It's been over a year and I still think of them a thousand times a day. Their faces grace my walls and my computer screen. If you talk to me for more than 10 minutes, I'm likely to mention it. It's a part of me. Just like Gordon is a part of me.

So who am I? I'm Kristen Dawn Michelle Burke. An almost 22 year old college graduate with a love and passion for life and beauty. I'm a work in progress. And I'm the daughter of the King of the Universe who loves me more than I could ever ask or imagine.

Ya know what? That's more than enough for now. I'm blessed to be living my life alongside the people who God has so graciously given me. Transitions are going to be happening throughout my life, but I will pass through them just as I'm passing through this one - with Christ as my vision and guide.