Ramblings of a Graduate

I'm sitting in my apartment at Gordon listening to the hustle and bustle of people packing up and moving out. The voices I hear are marked with excitement and sadness, energy and exhaustion. It has been a pretty crazy few days for those of us who have graduated. But I can now say that I am: GRADUATED.It's a strange phenomenon to be able to say that. I feel as though I just came to terms with being graduated from high school and now I have my Bachelors of Science in Early Childhood Education and Psychology with a concentration in ESL. Quite the mouthful, right?
The ceremony was really nice with a wonderful address from our president emeritus, Jud Carlberg. He was the perfect person to give the commencement address as he holds a very special place in many of our hearts.
I got to see my amazing mentor and she is the only person who has made me cry so far.
My family was here to see me and that meant the world to me. Especially my brothers being like mini paparazzi after I received my diploma! =)
Since I came back to campus last night, I've been trying to figure out my mood. I feel incredibly blessed for everything that I have experienced and all the people that I have gotten to know. It's resonating with me from deep in my soul and I am at peace with what the last 4 years have held and what the next 4 years will hold. I'm blessed to be living, breathing, and loving for another day. So many times I forget how blessed I am to have life and to have it to the fullest (John 10:10). The only thing is I feel a hint of sadness for this part of my life to be over. I love my friends and living in such a close community with them. They're never more than a 4 minute walk away and that's amazing. I, on the other hand, am not going to miss living on campus in an apartment with 5 other girls. I love you, ladies, but I need my own space now! ;)
I'm ready to be done with being a student and I'm ready to go out and pursue a career that I'll love. What I'm not ready for is everyone to be so far away. I didn't really say goodbye to anyone yesterday. I saw some people and gave them hugs, but I didn't really say goodbye. The person I said goodbye to most was one of my best friends, Jordan. He has been an incredibly large part of my life for the last 2 years and we have helped and watched each other grow in some great ways. I am so blessed to have him as a part of my life. It's simply hard to think about the fact that he won't be a minute walk away from me anymore. I won't be able to see him and talk to him whenever I want. I mean, last summer with Swazi, we didn't talk for a month, but that was different. And yes, I know that I don't know what the future holds and we may end up living near each other some day, but it's just a strange transition to know that neither of us will ever move back on to Gordon's campus. We will never live in a community like this. We're now about 1,000 miles from each other. And this goes for more than just Jordan. It goes for many of my dear friends who are heading back to the mid-west, the south, and the west coast. I'm going to miss having this community at my fingertips.
As I'm writing this, I feel as though my thoughts are so disjointed. I'm feeling a mix of emotions and that makes my thought process a little clouded. There's much uncertainty that lies ahead, but I'm sure of several things:

• I get to spend an amazing week with my incredible brothers. 
• I am a college graduate and I will get a job.
• I get to finish up the elementary school year with students who I adore and who love me just the same. 
• I have a fun and pretty relaxing summer ahead of me. 
• Goodbye is not the end. My friendships live on and I can't wait to see how they grow as we grow in our lives. 
• I am blessed. Blessed to have had this incredible opportunity. Blessed by God in ways that I'll be discovering for the rest of my life. And blessed by those around me who invest in my life. 
• God is good through it all - the good and certain and the bad and uncertain. I will look to Him who works all things for good for those who love Him who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Thank you, Gordon, friends, and family for an amazing life so far. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for me and for those around me. Only God knows! ;)

Thoughtful and Thankful

As I think back to a year ago, I can still feel the excitement I felt then. Finals were finishing up. Last minute planning for Swazi was commencing. I was helping out with Graduation and was watching some very dear friends walk across that stage and into the next part of their lives.
Now, one year later, that's me. I'm graduating college. I'M. GRADUATING. COLLEGE. Where in the world did the time go? In some ways I feel as though I just walked onto campus as a freshman with high hopes and dreams for my college years. In other ways, I feel as though Gordon has prepared me for the next step in my life. I'm ready to be done being in a college classroom and am excited to put to work what I've learned over the last few years.
I'm also excited to put what I didn't learn in the classroom to work as I transition out of a safe environment out into the 'real world.' I learned just as much, if not more, outside the classroom than inside one. I've grown in ways I could not have dreamt about in high school. I'm not the person I once was. I'm better. I'm stronger. I'm more in love with Christ than the day I walked onto this campus. Is that due to chapel services or student led prayer and worship? Partially. But it's mostly due to the incredible friendships that I made in and through this very unique place.
I've heard it said that the people you surround yourself with shape who you are and who you will become. It couldn't be more true. I've had the opportunity to pursue deep relationships with so many people on this campus and I'm so grateful for that. I've had the opportunity to see growth in others that still astounds me. One of the most miraculous things to watch is God working in people's lives.
I've learned more from the people around me than anything I could learn in a book. I've learned what it means to be an individual. Through the people I've surrounded myself with, I've found me. I know who I am now and I'm secure in it. Through pursuing Christ and the people He has placed so perfectly in my life, I've found the woman that He has created me to be. I'm able to be me more than I ever have before and it's an incredible burden off of my shoulders. Those who know me well, know that I don't have everything in my life together and that I'm a little bit crazy. Or as my students say - I've lost my marbles (yay for English idioms that second language learners haven't heard before! =)) I know who I am in Christ. I don't have to be anyone else. I don't have to be who someone else wants me to be. I am me and that is more than enough for Him.
I've also learned that no matter what, life is beautiful. Nothing taught me this more than Africa. I saw children with shoes that were broken apart and who didn't have families or whose families didn't want them, yet they felt overwhelming joy. So why do I sit idly by and complain about lesson plans when I am incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity to study at a place that taught me so much more than how to teach a math lesson to a child? I've learned how to love children. I've always had a slight obsession with children (and National Geographic, but that's another story) and a love that I can't quite explain. House #6 in Bulembu solidified my love for children even more. I learned that loving children is so much more than playing hide-and-go-seek or soccer or helping them learn a new concept. It's investing in them and telling and showing them that you're proud of them and that you care. I honestly love the children in my classroom. Ask anyone who talks to me daily or weekly and I always have a hundred stories to share about them (especially about second grade boys who have little crushes ;)). An example of this is one of my boys who has a hard time behaviorally. Instead of just pushing him aside and ignoring his actions, I took them on headfirst. I set expectations and we talk about his behavior daily. This keeps both him and I accountable for his actions and last week I told him I was proud of him for his progress and effort. I thought he might burst out crying right on the spot. Instead, he comes over and gives me the sweetest hug that I've received since Bulembu. It was full of hope and thankfulness.
It is with a similar hope and thankfulness that I am leaving Gordon with. Gordon took me in when I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. Since giving me a place to learn and grow, I've become the person I could never have imagined. Thank you, Gordon, for the incredible four years you've given me and for preparing me for what lies ahead. You'll never be far from my heart, mind, and prayers.
Thank you to my friends who have made these four years memorable with countless midnight trips to the beach, insane dance parties, movies nights, birthday parties, and so much more. I wouldn't be in this place without you and you will all be a piece of me forever.
To my friends who still have some time left at Gordon...here's some advice: treasure every day you have. Gordon has faults, but don't dwell on them. Look for where God is leading you and trust that He knows so much better than you. Trust His will above your own and He will make your path straight every time. Seek Him first and everything else will fall into place. Go on as many adventures as you can and invest in the relationships that are here. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers and I know that this is not the end for us.
And finally, thank you Bulembu, for being the single most incredible experience of my life thus far. You changed my life and made me who I am. For that, I am forever grateful.

To the Class of 2012 - WE DID IT! Whether your future is set out in front of you or not, trust in God and He will reveal it in due time. <3