A week ago today our team was leaving the amazing town and people of Bulembu. We drove through the town for the last time as we headed to the Safari. I couldn't help but tear up because even then I was afraid of forgetting. As a Psych major I know the unreliability of memories. From this point of view I'm terrified of forgetting. This morning was the first morning I didn't wake up thinking that I was halfway around the world and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing yet. I'm starting to feel more at home here, but I don't want that to mean that I feel less at home in Bulembu. Sometimes I feel like this is dragging out longer than it should be but I honestly can't help it. I'm so worried about forgetting that I do everything I can do to keep thinking about it and the details of the trip. I don't want to forget the smell of Siboniso's head or the radiance of Timmy's smile or Hlobile's beautiful voice. I feel as though they're slipping away and there's nothing I can do about that. Memories dull with time. I never want to forget any detail but I'm learning to accept the fact that I will. Pictures are a beautiful invention and I thank God for them to be a constant reminder of my amazing time in Bulembu. What I mainly don't want to forget is the amazing way that I felt God while I was there. I can already feel myself becoming more apathetic since being back and I'm slipping on my daily time with Him. But I know it so I'm going to change it.
I think I'm going to start doing my alone time with God in the morning because I have been getting up between 530-630 every morning so that means I have time now. I just want to use my time to feel close to God and feel His embrace when I need it the most.
This was a more pensive post...more stories to come in the following posts.
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